Month: July 2015

Action.

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We tend to get caught up in the words. They lose value. Actions always speak louder.

-thewarden

From ‘New’ Love to ‘Consistent’ Love

I love you, I love, I love you…
“Kick off your shoes, take off the blues and come to me…”
Time…we never notice where it went, until we start trying to piece together the events of the day. The days turn to the week. By then the week is gone with only work to show for it. We dedicate so much of what we do for these businesses and corporations. Most times we don’t even have a choice. These things happen. But what happened to life? What happened to when things were simple?
Call to action.
When we do have time, what are we doing with it? Are we making long term investments or just making it work from day to day? I’m talking about your relationships. With actual people. Don’t get the introvert going.
The little things.
We waste time by asking for time, so by the time we start asking others for time, it’s already too late.
I always joke about “new love” and how new lovers are always under each other, dedicating time to that one person. All the time spent before they begin to argue, fuss, and ultimately resent each other…had to be worth it in some fashion. It set the foundation for which that relationship will be built. Then when the walls go up and the foundation begins to settle and the walls crack and the doors creak, they have to put energy towards fixing it.
Or they just move.
Tell me…are you buying the house, or just paying rent?
New love is the simple life. They don’t really know each other’s secrets. They don’t really know how one will react to certain situations. They don’t really know anything. Just that they can’t be without the other for too long.
So why is it…we get comfortable and feel like maybe we don’t need to fix those creaks? Why don’t seasoned couples invest as much time, if not more, into what made them great to begin with?
The times when they called each other, instead of texted.
The times when he would rush up to hug her from behind to whisper “I love you” in her ear.
The times when she wanted to lay with him on his side of the bed.
The times when they held hands in public.
The times when he listened to all of her problems.
The times when she posted pictures of them together.
The times when they didn’t let anything ruin their plans.
The times when he surprised her at work with gifts.
The time when she held him down and gave him hope after his failed attempt.
They made mixtapes for each other (remember that?).
But then things change.
Time gets away. Life gets away. And now…
They no longer have time to talk.
He’s always busy.
She learns to talk to other people.
They no longer date.
He’s always tired.
She gives her attention to her friends.
They are seldom intimate.
He’s upset because he wants attention.
She sleeps on her side of the bed.
They no longer call each other.
That mixtape he made all those years ago is scratched to shit.
They flawlessly work and commit to everything they want in the beginning. Then they set auto pilot. Then autopilot fails.
And all of a sudden they realize how hard it really is to make sure their partner is happier than they are.
They forgot.
They lost track of time, so they don’t even know where things went wrong. Just two upset people who really don’t even know why.
On my soapbox.
Get that time back. Technology has made us so smart, and so stupid. We don’t know how to be people anymore. Why don’t we talk anymore? It baffles me. We’d rather send a message, text, tweet. Pick up the damn phone. Hear each other’s voice. Actually tell them you love them. Make it a habit.
Take all the additional time back from your friends. Give it back to it’s rightful owner, your partner. What are you even talking about, anyway?
Go on a fucking date. For no reason. Wear some cologne. Put on some damn eyeliner.
Confide in each other, and only in each other.
Take turns on each other’s side of the bed. Cuddle.
If you find yourself not having time for your partner, you’re probably investing too much time into something else.

In other words, get back to new love. It wouldn’t have to be new love, if it was consistent love.

#3 down, vigor with continuance.

-thewarden